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About Literature / Hobbyist Cinders8328Female/United States Recent Activity
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Literature
Overwhelming Anxiety
Alone and broken
Afraid of the dark
In Lingering darkness
The Scary Ones Hark
The words that Echo
Again and again
That poison my being
Bring depression again
The cloudy days are sadness
They are so long and dark
And my mind is so scattered
That the voices again start
The ones that say I’m useless
The ones who call me weak
The ones that tear my heart out
And in the darkness creep
But no one understands
Why these can’t be ignored
What power they have over
How they collect and horde
They bury my happy
My joy laughter and smiles
Feel like finding a corner
And staying there a while
My eyes become wet
At the anxiety I feel
As I know that they are coming
To control all that’s real
The meanest darkest things
Someone said at one time
Are not things you can take back
They play on repeat in my mind
And so when you see a tear
Rolling down my face
Please remember that
I am in a hurting place
Please don’t point and laugh
as others have for years
Please just understand
we are
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:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 0 0
Literature
The Mornings
This side of our life is such a lonely place
Always fighting, never right time or place
I get up in the morning and wake our children
Hop in the shower and break up their fighting
I feed them breakfast as they argue some more
As I wish for peace and miss you who I adore
As we leave a little late everyday
I miss you and wish I had time to stay
We pass by in the morning, 10 minutes at most
And I'm usually trying to choke down my toast
You sleep while I work, so all day I miss you
I try to stay happy but tears keep pushing through
So I hold on so tightly to why I fell in love
I hardly ever see my perfect match from above
Lately things seem different,
mechanically the same
No time for special things, no time anymore
It's rush and hurry, get it done, goodbye I'm out the door
If I only had the time to talk and tell to you my Dear
I know why I love you and wish to hold you near
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:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 1 0
Literature
Sadness feelings
How is it possible to not feel alive to feel so alone in this life
When depression rolls in with its cynical grin and fills your heart with strife
Sleep will not come my heart feels dead
All of these bad thought poison my head
I cannot escape being my own worst enemy
And loved ones can't save me, not even from me
The tears want to roll, but they stay locked within
And I look so normal hiding all this pain from them
I can't feel my heartbeat, my pleasures are gone
Why can't I stop this, I don't like feeling wrong
As this darkness surrounds me it seems no one understands
This is not their fault, this was not in their plans
The emptiness grows daily, I can't seem to hold it back
And mean words flow through my brain causing my confidence to lack
I feel trapped and stuck in darkness, I just want to get out
The light's all disappearing my confidence is muffled, I can't even shout
How do I fight this demon that ravages consuming me
How do I call happiness back where can I find my glee
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 0 0
Literature
You Love Me?
You tell me that you love me,
Do you know what that means,
I'm worried you don't understand,
The feelings that this brings,
How do I know if you mean,
The same thing that I do,
When I tell you that I love you,
It doesn't just mean I'll be true,
It means that I'll be by your side,
Though storms will come and go,
And that there is a place for you,
My heart will always know,
It means that we're connected,
Both in my heart and soul,
And that I am committed,
Where ever you go I'll follow,
This is a place where few may tread,
The way you've been invited,
The only way to end my love,
Is if you wish we were departed,
I do not wish to frighten you,
I hope you understand,
I need to make sure you know the truth,
And that this is who I am,
I accept you for all you are,
Even those things I do not know,
It's not your past I am in love with,
And I hope this love can grow,
If you don't feel the same way,
I can truly understand,
If you need time I've got that,
And I'll give you all I have,
I just want
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 3 1
Literature
To YKW
Of all the times I though I was right,
of all the times I've stayed up at night,
I am so glad to have found the one,
who makes me whole, now life's begun,
this time I'll take it as slow as I can,
I don't want to mess this up again,
it's not always been me, but it takes two,
and the way that you get it, these feelings are new,
I love the way you hold my hand,
the way we talk every minute we can,
the way you melt my fears away,
and how just seeing you can make my day,
the root beer barrel color of your eyes,
the way there is nothing I can find to despise,
the smallest thing like the noises you make,
are the things that make my heart beat, there's no mistake,
the way your arms melt away the stress that inside,
you honesty makes the deal the best,
with out trust there cannot be the rest,
you are strong, you are wise, and you are you all the time,
so many reasons I'm proud to call you mine,
your crazy is my crazy, we dance and we sing,
we have fun like we're kids oh what joy you bring.
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 2 6
Literature
A request My Secret
You are my dark angel though no one knows,
And it is our secret, my hunger still grows,
I dream of your kisses and of what you would do,
if ever there is a spare moment for us two.
It stays on my mind both in night and day,
and I wish that it could all be some other way.
In a perfect world where I could feel like this,
and could spread to the world what a pleasure this is
but I must stay silent I cannot share such bliss,
as you belong to another, while I long for your kiss,
I so wish I had found you, earlier though
when this would be easy, at least a bit more so.
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 16 11
Literature
How do I know
There is a place where my heart is naive,
And pain is something it cannot perceive,
But life is not fair, it never has been really
especially in love and in these feelings
and then come the questions of future to be
Does he only want what he can't have from me
and once this one gets it then what will he do
will he be the next to give up on me too
If there is a plan and a purpose it seems
this could really be the right man of my dreams
I don't want to give up on this whole love thing
how will I find truth and what will it bring?
So far it's brought pleasure and also brought pain
brought me to tears and picked me up again
the pain of betrayal the pain of defeat
the worst one of all was being so incomplete
oh but wait there's another a boy who is a thief
but it wasn't my heart, it was what is most sweet
Not the innocence I had though that was stolen too
but the innocence of my daughter, only 4 and still new
So where do I trust my heart and what I do hold dear
How do I know when trouble is
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 8 2
Mature content
Passion :iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 10 4
Mature content
Want :iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 7 1
Literature
Derramando meu coracao
VOCÊ NÃO ESTÁ SOZINHO,
Você me ouviu?
VOCÊ NÃO ESTÁ SOZINHO!
Não é sua culpa,
Não é,Ei!,VOCÊ ME OUVIU?
Você está ouvindo?
Há esperança!
Há amor,
Felicidade é uma escolha
Mas você tem que tentar superar a dor primeiro,
Você tem que decidir que quem quer que te machucou não é digno de sua raiva
Que você NÃO DEIXARÁ que eles controlem sua vida ou emoções
Que você é mais forte que eles
PORQUE VOCÊ É UMA PESSOA MELHOR
Porque você é amada
Porque você nunca machucaria  alguém do jeito que você foi machucado
Você é esperança
Está lá, Eu posso ver isso em você
Eu posso sentir isso em suas palavras e sim,
Em sua dor.
Eu sei que você pode fazer
Não é fácil,mas você não está sozinho
A dor vem para proteger uns aos outros,
Das distâncias e do
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:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 7 7
Literature
Derramando mi corazon
Spanish - Español
NO ESTAS SOLO,
me escuchaste?
No estas solo!
Esto no fue tu error,
No lo fue, hey, ME ESCUCHASTE?
Estas escuchando?
Hay esperanza!
Hay amor,
Felicidad es una elección
pero tienes que luchar para superar el dolor primero,
tienes que decidir que quien lo hiere no es digno de tu ira
Que tu NO VAS a dejar que controlen tu vida o emociones
Que tu eres mas fuertes que ellos
PORQUE ERES UNA MEJOR PERSONA
porque tu eres amor
Porque tu no vas a herir a alguien como ellos te han herido a ti
Tu eres esperanza,
Esta allí, la puedo ver en ti.
Puedo sentirla en tus palabras y si,
incluso en tu dolor.
Yo se que lo puedes hacer
No es fácil, pero no estas solo,
El dolor se levanta para protegerse unos a otros,
desde distancias no medidas y con el poder invisible,
nosotros somos el dolor, las victimas
una vez sin esperanza, ahora un ejercito,
un apoyo para ayudar a gente como nosotros,
para romper las barreras que nos paralizan,
que nos hieren cuando no nos lo merec
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 3 3
Literature
Her
Can't you see that she's broken
just look into her eyes
promises were spoken
but then came to their demise
Where were we when she needed us
what had to come first
when all she needed was our love
we now see her hurt
She needed a few moments
we told her go and play
but all she wanted was us
to play with her everyday
When all it takes to love someone
is a kind and gentle word
So that they can feel free
to fly up like a bird
When understanding's what she needed
pushed aside is what she got
but we can change her future
to give what she has not
I cannot change the past
but my love for you does last
everything love will surpass
so do not feel downcast
Please let my love heal you
let it stir inside your soul
for everyday with out you
is another I'm not whole
I know you know I love you
I did before you were born
I wish no one had hurt you
I wish you never had felt torn
If I could steal your pain
and turn it into rain
that could wash away the stain
so the hurt would not remain
I would give the
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:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 9 8
Literature
Do you know?
How can it be
so hard to see
things you call nit picky
Add up inside painfully
I wish you would just understand
All that it takes is holding my hand
Showing you miss me would be nice
A simple kiss on the lips would suffice
I need affection I thought I was clear
Didn't I tell you didn't you hear?
I apologize it must be my fault
That's why I locked my heart in a vault
I gave you the key, the only one I had
And I explained to you what I had planned
you must have forgotten how important it is
for all the little thing to add up to bliss
Have I lost you where and how did you go
I thought you loved me, was I wrong do you know?
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 8 1
Literature
Roses are red points contest
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You are blushing now,
my cheeks are red too,
of all the flowers I have seen,
The colors in your face,
Are without compare,
everlasting grace.
:heart:
Cinders
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 11 9
Literature
Please, I'm Sorry
I pulled away,
I pushed today,
Please understand,
This was not planned,
Look into my eyes,
Please realize,
The pain's too much to bear,
If you choose not to care,
I did not mean to,
Make you go through,
All of this,
Just for us to split,
Can't you see?
Just listen to me,
Or we will never have,
what was meant to really last.
:iconCinders8328:Cinders8328
:iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 23 9
Star Puppy By Adelle by Cinders8328 Star Puppy By Adelle :iconcinders8328:Cinders8328 1 15

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Cinders8328's Profile Picture
Cinders8328

Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I am a Mom, who has fallen in love again, and Love my 3 children more than anything. 1 biological and 2 loved as much!

A Poem, you got it:
I am doing commissions :-)
100 points for starters, anything more complex may be more, but send me a note!
Say the subject and any other detail you want included or a little paragraph about it. Like how you feel, and a subject for your feelings. I look forward to making a connection!
Subject: Rain,
Feeling/Mood: Happy.
Or:
Subject: Best friend
Feeling/Mood: Betrayed
I hope you don't have to have the second one, but feel free! I can't wait to bring you into my world!

I am a random, and sometimes a rambler, but nobody's perfect, so deal with it!
I see poetry as an art as well as anything that makes you feel a certain way, if you can identify with it, or it can take you somewhere, you've found art!
I also feel that I may not enjoy all art, somethings I do and others are just not for me, but that does not make you any less of an artist.

"The butterfly program" here's a link: www.recoveryourlife.com/ It is a program to help self-harmers stop. I wish that I had seen or heard of this YEARS ago. I am definitely past that point in my life, but would love to help others, if you need to talk or especially if you need any poetic rendering of your feelings, it would be my pleasure. I have come to love notes and my deviant friends who send them!

I try to stay positive, it's a choice, but it's not easy, so if happy people bother you, I'm annoying.

Also called an outcast, freak, and misfit, but I like to consider myself unique, after all don't those all mean "one of a kind"?

So it's up to you, Decide what you will, and feel free to comment and critique any of my work. I have also opened a donation so that I can start a premium membership, this is also what my commissions will be used toward as well!
Interests
Hello My friends,
I have had an amazingly bad month! Lung Cancer and Pnuemonia took my brother last week and more bad things happened before that! I quit smoking though and have now bwwn cigarette free for a whole week so far. I am using the patch, but I have been dreaming about smoking! EEK! Anyway, I am here, so come say hi!
Love and huggles to all!
XOXOX
Cinders
Now I can visit you all! And finally add again! I am so excited! I have missed you dearly all of you! And  I plan to be here daily once again!
love,
Cinders
  • Drinking: Tears
I miss you all! I am doing well! Adelle is wonderful! DCF case is closed! I am only on for this one session! I truly love you guys! I so miss hearing from you all! I will be back as soon as I can! I have been writing on the side, but don't have the time to post it!
love,
you know who!

Friends

Comments


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:iconawjay:
awjay Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014
dance thanx for the llama
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:iconawjay:
awjay Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014
huehue many thanks for the faving
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:iconsuperbeatlesforever:
SuperBeatlesForever Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thx for the Lama ^^ :)
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:iconmorningstar-1337:
Morningstar-1337 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014   Digital Artist
:iconbutterfly1plz::iconbutterfly2plz::iconbutterfly3plz::iconbutterfly4plz::iconbutterfly5plz::iconmorningstar-1337:
:iconmikuhug1plz::iconmikuhug2plz::iconmikuhug3plz::iconcryingrainbowsplz::icontwilightboogieplz::iconpinkie-bopplz:
:iconmikuhug4plz::iconmikuhug5plz::iconmikuhug6plz::iconcryingrainbowsplz::iconflutter-bopplz::iconrarity-bopplz:
:iconmikuhug7plz::iconmikuhug8plz::iconmikuhug9plz::iconcryingrainbowsplz::iconrain-bopplz::iconapple-bopplz:
:iconflutteryay1plz::iconflutteryay2plz::iconflutteryay3plz::iconemotethanks1plz::iconemotethanks2plz::iconemotethanks3plz:
:iconflutteryay4plz::iconflutteryay5plz::iconflutteryay6plz::iconemotethanks4plz::iconemotethanksllamaplz::iconrainbow-exclamation:
:iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3::iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3:
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:icondarlingangel0565:
DarlingAngel0565 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Professional Writer
:party: :heart: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :heart: :party:
I do hope you have a very special and wonderful day my sweet friend. :huggle:
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:iconsuperbeatlesforever:
SuperBeatlesForever Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy B-Day in 2 days ^^
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:iconmoohoodles:
Moohoodles Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey, just wanted to let you know you've been featured here: [link]
Thanks so much for being one of my watchers! :hug: I hope you have a wonderful day! :)
Reply
:iconvictorianprincess:
VictorianPrincess Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconblinkthanksllamaplz: :iconheartpinkplz:
Reply
:iconxxthecomicsgirlxx:
xXTheComicsGirlXx Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
[link] forgive me for tagging you... ^^;
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Happy belated birthday! You have been featured in [link] :D
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:icongoddessofownage:
goddessofownage Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thx for the fav :)
Reply
:iconwowurnotkidding:
wowurnotkidding Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Student General Artist
:iconshockplz:<'Tis is just me or is it your birthday?

Have a very lovely rest of the day, my friend. Hope you enjoyed the day.

:hug:
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:iconcinders8328:
Cinders8328 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I did! I also recieved A Cinderella Cake and all :)
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:iconuniversal-stardust:
Universal-Stardust Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012
Happy Birthday
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:iconsandrawhite:
SandraWhite Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist
Happy Birthday!!!!!
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:icondarlingangel0565:
DarlingAngel0565 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Professional Writer
:party: Happy Birthday!! :party:

I hope you have a wonderful day! :heart: :huggle:
Reply
:iconcrimzonstar:
CrimzonStar Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
[link]
For your sunshine!!!!!!!
Reply
:icondarlingangel0565:
DarlingAngel0565 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you so much for the Devi Watch and all the faves you have graced me with. :heart: :huggle:

Please forgive me for the late reply. I am finally going through all my comments :forgiveme:
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:iconnobsters:
nobsters Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fave! ^^
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:iconchasingshadowsphoto:
ChasingShadowsPhoto Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2012  Student Photographer
:iconblinkthanksfavplz:
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:iconcrimzonstar:
CrimzonStar Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey babe, thanks for the :+fav:!!!!! :blowkiss:
I :heart: you girl!!!!!
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:iconcinders8328:
Cinders8328 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:blowkiss::kiss:
You too!
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:iconcrimzonstar:
CrimzonStar Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
need to talk
Reply
:iconcinders8328:
Cinders8328 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I called
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:iconbutterflikissed:
ButterfliKissed Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the favorite :heart: I hope you take the time to check out my gallery when you get the chance :heart:
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