Pouring my heart out

YOU ARE NOT ALONE,
did you hear me?
You are not alone!
It is not your fault,
It isn't, hey, DID YOU HEAR ME?
Are you listening?
There is hope!
There is love,
Happiness is a choice
but you have to try to overcome the pain first,
you have to decide that whoever hurt you is not worth your anger
That you WILL NOT let them control your life or emotions
That you are stronger than they are
BECAUSE YOU ARE A BETTER PERSON
Because you are loved
Because you would never hurt someone the way you have been hurt

You are hope,
It's there, I can see it in you.
I can feel it in your words and yes,
even in your pain.
I know that you can do it
It isn't easy, but you are not alone,
The hurt rise up to protect each other,
from distances unmeasured and with power unseen,
we are the hurt, the victims
once hopeless, now an army,
a support to help people like us
to break through the barriers that numb us,
that make us hurt us when we don't deserve it,
that convince us that there is nothing better,
but there is...
...there is hope and love and TRUTH,
but mostly, there is someone out there,
someone who needs you, you may not even know them yet,
or maybe they are your best friend,
either way you are needed, your pain can become something else,
Are you listening?
I said that your pain can become something else.
If you choose to take the energy that you spend hating,
if you take the energy that you spend crying,
take the energy from cutting or hurting
or destructing or telling yourself that you are worthless,
that energy can be turned into something else.
But you have to want it,
sometimes it takes a long time before you believe that you deserve it,
But I do, I believe that you  deserve it,
when you look into the mirror what do you see?
I see pain and a cry for help,
but that's ok, or it will be.
Get up, I SAID GET UP,
do you know what else I see?
I think you need to look into this mirror,
because when I  look at you I see
HOPE
LOVE
The future is in YOU.
Take your anger and stand up, and look into the mirror and SCREAM!!!
I mean it! SCREAM, even if you have to scream into your pillow!
Even if you're scared,
then look into the mirror again,
Please just look into the mirror,
I see eyes that long to shine instead of rain,
And I see a mouth that longs to smile,
I see someone who refuses to let someone else hurt them anymore!
I see a strength bubbling under the surface that longs to get out,
And I see you, there you are, that smile,
those eyes,
say it,
YOU WILL NOT!!!! CONTROL ME ANYMORE!
I REFUSE TO LET YOU MAKE ME ANGRY EVERY MOMENT!
MY LIFE IS NO LONGER YOURS TO HURT,
YOU WILL NOT CONTROL MY THOUGHTS AND MAKE ME A VICTIM ANY LONGER
I REFUSE TO LET YOU POISON MY HEART AND MY SOUL WITH YOUR ABUSE,
I REFUSE TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU YOU SICK BASTARD
STAY OUT OF MY THOUGHTS AND MY LIFE!
YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE!!!!
IN ME
I am in me, I choose to find good in things and to stop letting you bother me. I refuse to stay silent, I will talk about my hurt and pain no matter what that causes for you because I am worth it!

Are you saying this out loud? You need to hear it, please say this out loud, I beg you! Even if you are not ready to mean it, say it, one day these words may set you free. Please do not be another lost to me, please do not make me cry this way. please know that I truly see love in you, and that I need this from you, to say these things, just a few more things...
....Say:
It is not my fault (this is the one that hurt the most to say, I cry even now to remember how much it hurt to let that pain go, but I needed to!)
It is NOT my fault
It is not my fault
I have survived and I will make it known that no one should be treated this way!
I will  get the help I need,
And then I will help others.

I WILL TELL SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME!!!
I CAN TELL SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME!!!!

IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!!
YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!!

Now, please, please go to someone you trust, there must be someone, there are crisis lines that are confidential, and free, if you can see this than you can look them up too. write to me, tell me how you feel, this isn't easy, but you deserve so much more. Please do whatever it takes. get help, get better, this is only temporary, it won't last forever. Tell the police if you have to, but do something to protect yourself. I can't be right there for you. But I have been there myself with worry about will I have a place to live if I say something? will I have a next meal? And I made it, I survived, my battle has been long and hard, but I have found happy and I have healed from pain. know that you can do it too! If you need me I am here, even if you don't think you do and you wanna talk, you are not alone, I am part of the army of the hurt and I WILL STAND UP! AND I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT I HAVE BEEN ABUSED! I AM NOT ALONE! I am truly not alone, sometimes we all feel alone, we lie to ourselves because we can't stop from feeling worthless, ,but just try, please try. I will stand up with you and I will hold you up so that you can FLY! Maybe you don't feel like you can make it, but I know that we can. Please come with me, let me help you to get there. I know WE can make it together.

Cinders <3





I would like to publish this piece in other languages so that it can help others like us as well. If anyone knows a translator of another language, please show them this and ask if they would be interested in helping out. Please do not copy without permission, but feel free to link anyone here! Thanks again, Cinders